These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
