Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
