I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I AM VODKA MAN
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
