worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
