i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
