So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize