When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
