Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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