failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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