I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
