I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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