you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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