Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Randomize
