well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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