It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
