one two three fourrrrnication!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
