i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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