I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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