In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
