please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
