A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
He kissed a someone with a penis
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
