We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
