as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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