fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize