I'm jealous of your bromance
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
