hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
