i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
