You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
