Do you still have your period?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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