no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
