Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Randomize
