we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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