I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
