Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
