so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
