I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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