i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
