Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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