How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
