If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
