I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
