My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Randomize
