Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
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