Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
