I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
