I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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