oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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