we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize