Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
