Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
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