two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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