HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
