you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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