What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
