Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
