She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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