He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
