:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
