So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
