You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Floor bacon is actually really good
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
