I cannot find my penis.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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