i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
