Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize