He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
