you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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