He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
