yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
