Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
