dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
