Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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