That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just blew my weed a kiss
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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