and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
