party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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