just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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